Reality sets in awful fast after the smoke clears. All the many tasks at hand. The list gets bigger, grows longer everyday. I’m checking it twice, okay maybe more times than I know, that’s okay. Don’t want to do any of it. So many decisions to make & can’t think of even the simplest choices to make. What color underwear do I want? OMG what size do I wear?! Where’s the bathroom at this store cuz I think I gotta get outta here! All these people staring at me, don’t look up, don’t want them to see my grief. Oh wait a minute, I’m walking, I’m breathing, I’m stepping out & up to move forward. Gotta pinch myself cause this doesn’t feel real…but it is. This feels too much. I’m either shut down or shut in to my own little world. Gotta get out of myself & remember that I am not alone. The One who holds the world in is hand is holding me & my lil world too. That journal I keep closing is opening up again. It’s a new page today, a new chapter. My mind keeps singing to 19 bottles of rum, take one down pass it around 18 bottles of rum on the wall! Hmm, think I better think of a new song cuz that wall is now gone!
