Hard to return to “normal” when nothing is normal at all. Kinda feels like trying to fit into last years jeans, the ones that are 2 sizes too small! Gets over the rear but ya just can’t zip it up… nothing fits! It all feels like everything is outta place. Keep doing the same thing over & over. That plant over there needs to go in the corner. No, maybe by the TV… oh wait… that’s right, I don’t have a TV! All those memories of what’s lost is magnified at the holidays. Maybe it’s because everything you want to buy for someone else doesn’t make sense when you need to buy it for yourself. Gotta put on a happy face, a smile so no one sees my pain. Can’t move, my mind’s racing a mile a minute, or not at all. If I pretend that everything’s alright then maybe, just maybe, I can feel something. Playing undercover cop in a made up world that doesn’t exist anymore. Like 21 Jump Street. An undercover cop going back to High School to play a student but, he’s really a cop playing the person that he never was in a class that he doesn’t belong in. It’s kinda like that… I think… I don’t know anymore! Maybe I’ll just put on my wonder woman mask & be somebody else today. Ah dang it, she doesn’t wear a mask!?!?🤦♀️
Photography by: Cindy Lee Hoover “Forest”
