Category: POSTS

They say that quitters never win. Yet, the stresses of life today is real & exhausting. I’m tired. But I’m not a quitter, nor are many of you.

On my walk yesterday, I heard a slight distant echo of geese flying overhead. I could hear in my head, “Look up, look up!” Way above me was a beautiful flock of white Canadian geese sailing high in the pale blue sky. As I turned my head to catch my breath, I was amazed to look up again & find them quickly gone. I gasped, as if to think my gesture had made them leave formation & soon dismiss. But then I thought, was this soaring display a perfect picture of beauty for only my eyes to gaze upon? How could that be? But, perhaps…it was. It was just for me to look up & never give up.

“Don’t shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that’s where the action is. See things from his perspective.”
‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3:2‬ ‭

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.”
‭‭Galatians‬ ‭6:9‬ ‭

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Thru this emotional journey, I know that I’m never alone. I can’t change the world but I can try to make a difference. Even when my heart is hurting & especially in my brokenness, I know there is purpose to this pain, a lesson in the battle & victory at the end of this fight. Yet I often question in the stillness of the night or wonder throughout the busy day, “Why Lord?” I seek for answers to the turmoils of the day, closure in the betrayals at large & justice for the innocent. I feel the heavy heart & conflicted thoughts of the many lonely warriors whose lives are challenged by the difficult choices & decisions of today. I stand together, hand in hand & plead the cause of each of us, a child of God. We are precious to the Lord, young & old alike.

But especially dear to the Fathers heart are the children, born to us from God to nurture, teach & love. He warns, “Do not cause one of these little ones who trust in Him to fall into sin.” To those who do He heeds a warning; better that a millstone be tied around one’s neck & cast into the sea, than to cause harm to one of His.

We’re born with this instinct as children to trust Him & called as adults to defend & protect them. We must choose wisely, be brave & courageous & do no harm! Our future generation depends upon us to seek the truth in all things. Let us not be blinded by the foolish ways of this world or succumb to it’s deceptive lies & fear. The enemy is like a roaring lion, prowling around to devour those who are most vulnerable. But we are not his victims, nor will we fall prey to this evil. We are free in Christ, not because of man, but through Him. Another year has come & gone but, do not lose heart my brothers & sisters. Stand strong! Our strength shall be renewed & we will soar high on wings like eagles. As we trust God we’ll run and not grow weary, walk and not faint & He will never, ever leave us.

“This is my command—be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.””‭‭Joshua‬ ‭1:9‬

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Do you believe in the Christmas miracle?

It was the ninth hour on the ninth day in the middle of the afternoon. I watched as he retreated to the solace of the bedroom to pray his way through this darkness. I didn’t known the depth of despair he’d been fighting. The sickness had taken his ability to breathe freely & every breath was a struggle to survive. I too felt the push & pull of this silent enemy whose only purpose was to steal, kill & destroy. Surrender to defeat was not an option, not today, nor tonight & never tomorrow. But in that desperate moment, he laid on his side & quietly pleaded a whispered prayer, “oh God, I won’t give up…I’m not, please help…I can’t, please just…let me breathe”.

As I entered the room, I felt his raw emotion. His words were tangled & mixed with uncontrollable joy & incredible amazement. He’d felt more than a sigh of relief, the weight had been lifted & he was able to breathe. My heart was elated as I wondered & watched, the stature of this man change before my own eyes. With a thankful heart of gratitude & praise, he tried to express the reality behind what had just happened. I needed to know more. I had to see what he’d seen, if only by the very words of his mouth & the touch of his trembling hand.

His prayers were answered by the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, He had sent an Angel Warrior to fight this worldly battle. He touched his hip & pulled his shoulder back as he firmly spoke, “Just Breathe”. The tightened strain released & air restored as his chest inhaled each breath. My mind was racing, his heart was pounding & we both could not hold back the thankful tears of this unawares visit from Heavens Throne. He had been touched by an Angel that brought healing & strength in his darkest hour. I was captured in the awe of this moment by everything he spoke & wanted to touch him & couldn’t let go. This was not an illusion or a dream, though it felt so surreal like an undeserved gift or a blessing undisguised. He was fully awake to accept his answer to prayer & I am ever so gracious to share in this miracle of the unfathomable, unmovable & inseparable love of God. Touched.

“Therefore, angels are only servants—spirits sent to care for people who will inherit salvation.”‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭1:14‬ ‭

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Ever look through that timeless window & wonder how you got to this point in your life? We strive & struggle to make the best decisions & choices yet, sometimes it feels like it’s not enough. Perhaps our reasoning & perception was blurred by our broken scars & wounded hearts. It comes to a point that we can’t carry that weight anymore, we have to let go. We have nothing to lose but that heavy laden baggage that gets dragged around with us…wherever we go. This is the time to be real with ourselves & honest before God.

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin, to see the plumb line in Zerubbabel’s hand.” (The seven lamps represent the eyes of the Lord that search all around the world.)”‭‭Zechariah‬ ‭4:10‬ ‭

What truth does the world sell us? When others try to hurt us, where is the love? Why do we allow others to cause harm when we can stand up & defend each other? We have a plumb line to measure the truth from a lie. This level gives us a standard of morality & discernment to know good from evil & right from wrong. Our value of worth is not somebody’s monetary rating of what they can use to control our future. We are uniquely made by our Creator who loves & cares for each one of us. No matter what we’ve done or who we’ve become, we are, forgiven & free. We no longer need to live in fear of the present or lack of understanding of the past. Our future is in God’s Hand & it is He who holds the plumb line that brings clarity, truth & healing from the woes of this world. “I once was blind, but now I see.”

“For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.”‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4:12-13‬ ‭

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A silent picture can say a thousand unspoken words. In stillness it reflects that same emotion felt, at that special place in time. But with those pictures gone, lost in time or vanished out of sight, all that’s left are the distant memories in ones mind. Sometimes we see a gentle reminder, from a broken piece of something left behind. Perhaps that’s why we keep our precious items tucked away in china cabinets or carefully placed on painted walls for all to gaze & see.

“I remember the days of old. I ponder all your great works and think about what you have done.”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭143:5‬

I walked my parents hall of fame with all our family photos, that also lined each room that filled the manor home. I quickly reminisced on a special memory moment. I saw my father’s face just as clear as yesterday. He was smiling with that gleeful grin, as he took my tiny hand in his. Thoughts came flooding back to me of raising our three sons, the years of busy chaos, laughter & the tears. Their Dad with his boys, is a memory that I miss, but I’ll never forget those days & always remember this. Baseballs, bats & leather mitts, wrestling matches, rolled up mats or grassy fields with football teams & benches filled with friends! Camping tents, hunting trips, hooking fish & sport events. All those treasured moments, where love of God & family mattered first.

“For I, too, was once my father’s son, tenderly loved as my mother’s only child.”‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:3‬ ‭

Today I saw a picture of my grandson with his Daddy. They’re walking side by side & hand in hand, along a wooded path. I thought how fast that time has gone, between a father’s boy to man & now from son to dad. I’ve played these scenes in rewind, so many times before. But as I watched this moment, my heart was full yet, it brought a tender tear. For only I can see my memories & be reminded of the past, I have no older photographs that I can say did last. It stings a bit I must admit, I feel that wounded scar. Though God & time has made the sorrow less, I still can cry but feel like that’s okay, this moment too shall pass. My loss will always be there but I have much more to gain. I’m making memories, adding pictures & creating my photo collection. Counting my losses, are more precious & dear to my heart. Those moments in time have never been lost or forgotten. They’ve always been remembered by God & He is the One who brings these memories back to me.

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭56:8‬ ‭

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As I laid tirelessly awake on the edge of my bed, I was reminded of a song that kept singing in my head. I cannot deny, with each difficult breath I took, my heart was stirred as I realized the power of each melodic verse.

“Breath of heaven Hold me together

Be forever near me Breath of heaven”

How easy it is to take for granted something so common as the air we breathe. We come into this world with our first breath and we go out of it with our last, it is the very breath of life. What we do in between depends on the choices we make. But when we recognize the gift we have been given by God, it changes our perspective & direction. It has definitely changed mine.

“Breath of heaven Lighten my darkness

Pour over me your holiness For you are holy

Breath of heaven”

I am amazed & forever thankful at the wonder of it all. When I could not breathe, my mind was quick to plead my case to God:

“Oh Lord, I’ve seen beauty in the eyes of my baby boys face as he took his first breath. I’ve shared the love of my Mom & Dad as I held their hand & they gasped for their last. As one life lives, another passes on, such is the circle of life. But You are the One who gives life & breath to everything & satisfies every need from birth, in death & throughout our lives. Please Lord, be ever near & pour over me your holiness. Let me breathe that I might see & know it is You who holds me together. “

He heard my cry, I felt his hand lighten my darkness to breathe again. I am forever grateful for His healing touch & gift of life. But I will never forget the night I felt like I was holding on to… one breath from Heaven.

“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.” ‭Psalms‬ ‭4‬‬:‭8‬

“For the Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life. “Job‬ ‭33‬‬:‭4‬

Lyrics by: Amy Grant/Chris Eaton

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God, I can’t carry this burden anymore. This weight’s more than one man should bear. I’m tired & I feel so alone. My mind says to move but my feet just won’t go. These hands are old, both knees won’t bend & now You tell me to build this boat! If I stand up & speak what you’ve called me to do, these people will laugh & scorn or condemn me to death. I watch them play & spin a web of wicked deeds, as they party all night like there’s no tomorrow. Yet I know the Truth, it’s so plain & simple, I’ve tried to tell them, but they just won’t listen. My heart is broken, how can they not see, that all is not lost if they’d only believe. They twist & squirm & feed such lies, while out of their mouths they quickly deny! What’s wrong is now right & the right is made wrong, but You know the thoughts of each mans secret life. I know I’m not innocent, I’m guilty of sin. I’ve fallen short, been easily tempered & judged more than a few. But I can’t face this corruption at hand & just turn a cheek & not take a stand! You’ve called each one to this moment in time, to be more than a bystander or a people who hide their heads in the sand. We are created in Your image to be distinctly unique, each child, woman or man. Help me, so I don’t lose heart, as I continue to stir others from this complacency & bring them an awareness of clarity. We shall walk through that door & sail on those waters, in faith & assurance that You are our Father. So I’ll take up my hammer, axe, blade or oar, I’m ready to start & finish this work. God, this is my plea: Grant me the strength to stay by Your side & no matter what happens, please don’t ever give up on me! I am Noah, son of Lamech, father of Shem, Ham & Japheth… Here I am.

“And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.”‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭11:6‬

‭I am Antoinette, daughter of Tony & JoAnn, mother of James, Jesse & Jason… Here I am.

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Though my heart’s in despair, I must let this go, I need to trust God! This pain in my soul leaves a knot I can’t seem to unfold, an empty hole, deep sorrow, a love I want to behold, but am kept at a distance. See the world running & striving in a planned disarray, as I watch our town struggle to survive on this difficult road. Yet here I sit & I ponder, as I look at my own little circle of life. I have to wonder, how have we gotten to this place of complacency?

Whether near or far, the choices we make in these desperate times, will influence the rest of our precious life. Strange-like fear driven tactics & pressurizing masses & classes into silence, seems to be the perpetual work of today. I am angry & mad at the work of the enemy to cause many to fall to such wicked schemes! We have allowed others to manipulate & divide not just our country but our very homes! I’m forced to accept whatever shall be & I’m suppose to just nod & agree, like its all fine & okay with me. Brother against brother, sons & daughters shunning Mothers & Fathers, families & friends divided over what? Where is the love that bound us together? We are free to make our choices, speak ones opinions & own our independence, that is Freedom. We can stand up, call out & agree to disagree, this is Courage under fire, Brave of heart. But, never should we allow our rights to give way to disrespect, ridicule, wrongdoing or toxic lies & betrayal. We must listen to each other & consider the warnings & alarm that is stirring the hearts of many instead of shaming, avoiding & ignoring their cry! Together we are stronger, but divided we shall surely fall. This is my SOS letter… God help us all.

“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:12‬

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Ever look at a fallen tree & peek inside its circled rings of life? Each one holds a moment in time upon its calloused bark, yet they keep these secret tales, deep within their trunks. They once embraced beauty, strength & grace, as they stood upon this sacred land & provided a protected habitat. It’s cycle of life never ends; from seed to tree or branch to leaf, each stage has purpose, destiny, a part of God’s perfect plan. Even those that seem to be discarded, are regifted & used to heat & warm our homes. Others lose in dreadful shame, to many destructive fires that destroy & deface our forests. Yet those that frame & shape our houses, give quiet refuge & safety from the worlds troubles & natures storms. From broken Oaks to fallen Pines, I see our circle of life connection. The rings of secret spaces, are like our hardened hearts that often turn to bitter empty places. It takes courage to look inside & overcome the scars of these distant battles. We must remember, there is a reason for each season, a purpose to every stage of life. Maybe we’re slightly broken, but we’re not crushed nor are we untouched by what we see or feel. Perhaps we’ve silently fallen, yet never are we alone or abandoned, no matter what the cause may be. We all make many mistakes yet, no trial or error is ever wasted whenever there is growth. We are more than just a victim of our circumstances, we are Survivors. We too have stood the test of time with strength, dignity, grace & faith. As we pass this on to the next generation, our love of God & country can never be denied or ever be erased. Like broken Oaks & fallen Pines, we are the land of the free & home of the brave. We’re not so quickly forgotten! We must continue to stay strong & stand tall as we bring a purpose to the hopeless & encouragement to the fallen & broken hearted. This is the circle of life…. and this is who we are!

“To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.”‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭61:3‬ ‭

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Today I’m reminded of… you. I watch as many have fallen into dismay & disappointment. The world is unraveling & becoming a place of fear & anxiety. What does our future hold when we can’t see through the events of the day? We need to stop, turn the noise off, sit & appreciate what is in that moment. Do you know that you have been wonderfully & perfectly created for such a time as this? Yes, each one of you are gifted & talented with natural God given abilities that are unique & individual to no-one but you! No imprint is the same, we’re all made completely different from one another. So what we say, how we respond & what we do, does & will effect others. Actions DO speak louder than words but it is also by our words that our deeds are made known. Sometimes we must be bold, take a step & put our best foot forward. Esther was a woman who did just that. When she was asked to enter the Kings court to plead for mercy for her people, she was scared, afraid for her very life. To step into the Kings presence without a request from him was a possible death sentence, especially a woman of Jewish descent! She was careful as she fearfully hid her ethnic background yet, she ascended from her family’s home to the king’s harem & soon became his queen! But a twisted evil plot had been conspired by a palace official to destroy a race of people who were different from the traditions & culture of others. This was now her time to shine! She made a difference by speaking up & acting out in truth & love for herself & her people.

“If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?””‭‭Esther‬ ‭4:14‬ ‭

What a beautiful story… a real story of a life that mattered. One by one, each one of us have a story to share. You matter too. Just like Esther, you were made who you are, for such a time as this.

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