Category: POSTS

It was a long & weary journey. A bright distant Star led the traveler’s way, with the light of a starry lit night. There weren’t any rest stops, no comfort inn rooms to take a quick break for these wandering two. They humbly held the Saviors trust as they embarked upon this road. Such precious cargo for Mary to carry & Joseph to carefully lead. For this was indeed a sign of the times, the moment before a baby on board! The parents-to-be could never had known, the ever present danger of their sweet lil’ boy. Here is the story where they finally met, the One whose life gave victory over death! Oh Holy night, on that Blessed day, when Christ was born to us! He laid His head on a manger bed in a damp & cold stable of hay. Their arms held this miracle close to their hearts as they realized their part in the Masters plan. This child was a gift from Heaven above to lovingly care for Gods Son here on earth. But soon they’d see, that He is the One, who holds the whole world in His hands. Amazed by the wonder they watched this unfold, the Babe was then greeted by shepherds & nobles & kings bearing gifts! Yet somehow they knew why they’d heeded the call, for He’s the King of kings & Good Shepherd to all! Now, we can meet Him & answer His call, as we open our hearts & invite Him to come in.

“Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him.”John‬ ‭14:23‬ ‭

On that final last day we will anxiously greet Him, until then let us meet Him at, “His Meeting Place”.

“A child will be born to us. God will give a son to us. He will be responsible for leading the people. His name will be Wonderful Counselor, Powerful God, Father Who Lives Forever, Prince of Peace.”‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭9:6‬ ‭

https://antoinettesoutoftheashes.square.site

… the way that the color or shape of an animal or plant appears to mix with its environment, to prevent it from being seen or attacked as they are lost to view in the background.

I want to see the good in people, despite the bad that happens. I need to know that beauty can still come from ashes, even in the midst of the struggle. When success is measured by what is seen, one never knows the unseen trial & error that outweighs the victory from its losses. Just look at the blood, sweat & tears to overcome the incredible obstacles that each one of us have endured! In my weakest moments I have hid my fears & doubt, but it’s my faith in God that gives me the strength to be strong & believe! I have tried to blend into the background & not acknowledge my own emotions of disappointment, anger or grief. Yet I’ve never been alone to my own demise or ever been lost beyond saving. I have been challenged to be honest & real with how I truly feel, rather than wallow & sulk in despair. These are the in-between chapters of our lives that affect who we are, what we are made of & who we will be. These quiet times of reflection give an escape from the world for insight, renewal & strength. Under the cover of His wings we are safe. He will shelter, rescue & protect us as we stop, take a breath, feel alive & just breathe. While we stay in this moment we become one, as we sit & rest in Him…. camouflage.

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust Him.”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭91:1-2

https://antoinettesoutoftheashes.square.site/

Ever feel like it’s been lost? That spark of excitement, zest for life, spring in ones step…Life is full of unexpected surprises & unplanned adventures… good, bad & ugly. All the little things, big events, small gifts & huge losses are in between the glory days & lonely nights. The joy of a new born babe or the farewell salute to the hero’s destined fate. We bear our souls to kindred spirits, who share the warmth & care of a dear sweet friendship. Our hearts are worn on open sleeves that show the scars of hidden pain or display a cry for love. A distant look of eyes that question, tears of wonder & stares that ponder those empty thoughts or seeds of doubt. Perhaps a deeper yearning, a wandered longing… a somber quest for truth. How often life seems quite contrary & other times it feels just like the song, “You’ve lost that lovin feelin”. There’s no tenderness, or welcomeness to embrace a kiss or touch a bit of something new. Perhaps an eagerness or wanton desire has disappeared from scattered days, constant changes or balancing acts of limbo dances. The songwriter sings:

“It makes me just feel like cryin’, Cause baby, something beautiful’s dyin”.

Oh so deep the words that speak to what awakens how I truly feel! I want to dream, need to play, pray to be at peace. Though I am weary in this somber place, I know this too shall pass. The times are quickly changing, seasons are passing before us as the tide is turning day by day, moment by moment. But God’s love never changes, it’s never gone, won’t leave us, can’t get lost, or ever slips away. I’ll bend the knee to only Him & humbly ask, please Lord, bring back that lovin feelin, bring it on back to me. This is what I long for, cause that lovin feelin… has never been lost to me.

“For his unfailing love for us is powerful; the Lord’s faithfulness endures forever. Praise the Lord!”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭117:2‬ ‭

‬‬”You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feelin'” by Phil Spector, Barry Mann and Cynthia Weil

https://antoinettesoutoftheashes.square.site/

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!”‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭26:3‬ ‭

Trying to calm the storm that keeps raging in my head is a battle. Like a gale of wind that blows fiercely down the canyon, I am forced to accept what I cannot change. The darkness of the night is dimly lit by glowing candles & flickering teacup lites. I sit & stare into the endless rabbit hole of the world wide spider web as I search for the latest breaking news to shed some light into these sordid hidden stories. Perhaps the powers that be might let some truth reside behind their censored lines & untold agendas. Easy to be offended, defenseless & irritated at these constant changing times. The quiet of the day is seized by the loud roar of generators that pounce & steal the small bit of serenity that I long to embrace. There’s an underlining uneasiness that definitely does not feel right. Hard to do the simplest tasks when we are looking through a shattered screen of worldly views. Not worrying is easier said than done but, we must move forward. Learning to see the beauty through the ashes can be difficult when all we see is smoking mirrors. We must seek & choose peace before strife, truth over lies, light above darkness & wisdom for discernment. His peace will guard our hearts & minds as He walks us through, these series of unfortunate events.

“Light is sweet; how pleasant to see a new day dawning.”‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭11:7‬ ‭

‬‬“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.”‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭

https://antoinettesoutoftheashes.square.site/

Home… where the heart is. Yet the haunting question lately is, “Should we stay or should we go?” The conflicting stress we feel when our lives are threatened by these frequent wild fires is devastating. It’s not easy to leave a lifetime of memories, no matter how long or short they might be but… sometimes we must. Searching the latest news for direction, gathering the most recent info or researching through the endless media clips is exhausting. Now we often live with blackouts, generated power, hazardous smoke & evacuation warnings. Our most precious items, important papers & needed commodities are packed, stacked & prepared for a quick escape. We’ve had many warnings over the years of an impending doom & gloom forecast but when it really happened, we were caught off guard. I tell myself, never again, not today, this is a new day for me to begin! I won’t be defeated by my circumstances, I will rise up, stand tall & be strong. Though the situation may look bleak & dim, I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. When I’m afraid of the terror of the night, my fears are calmed, as I put my hope in Him. Will tomorrow come? Yes, without a doubt! The sunrise will awaken the dawn upon the darkened sky & bring light to greet our day. Just like the dusk returns before sunset & casts a moonlit night, we too are changed by all we’ve endured, persevered & overcome; for when we are weak, then we are made strong. I’m learning, growing, trusting to let go & let God. This is truly “living on the edge”.

“Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.””‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:8‬ ‭NLT

‬‬https://antoinettesoutoftheashes.square.site/

“I can’t see!”, the young toddler cried. He wiped his teary eyes as his mamma gently pulled him by the hand. A tiny voice had echoed my very sentiments, as I watched them scurry across the parking lot. Smoke had filled the air. It had blurred the distant vision from the fiery flames that surrounded so many rural cities & destroyed our small hometowns. Unfortunately, we have become familiar with this. But this is different. The scenario we are seeing today has a dual meaning. We see it’s destruction & we feel it’s divisive chaos as we face these many battles. Don’t need to name & blame them here, it’s quite apparent what they are. It’s no wonder that we feel overwhelmed, stressed & often depressed. We’re called to prepare for action, protect the innocent & defend the truth but, we must mask our face & shelter in place. It’s a struggle to comprehend these decisions that control our freedoms, rights, ethics, safety & security. The haunting questions that scatter our thoughts, as we try to balance our budget & teach our cooped up Zoom kids. Where do we go when we can’t see through the storm? Who do we trust during these times of uncertainty & confusion?

“I look up to the mountains— does my help come from there? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth!”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭121:1-2‬ “…be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.””‭‭Joshua‬ ‭1:9

‬God still has us in the palm of His hands & no matter what, we always can trust Him. Through all these smoke filled tears, now I can see.

https://antoinettesoutoftheashes.square.site/

Who cannot argue that the state our world is in, appears to be just this! Whether here or there, near or far, the players have placed their pieces upon this checkered board. Castles held by kings & queens, move each black or white knight, pawn or bishop, to overcome the other. That’s the game of thrones, to conquer & destroy… but this is not a game. Played upon our very own, are senseless acts & mindless raves of violent rage that has affected people of all races. Wrong has become right & what’s right is now wrong. Gone with the Wind is no longer a classic & Paw Patrol toons is offensive & rude! We must weed through the news to find some thread of truth & God help us if we try to defend the red, white & blue. Bend a knee, take a stand, walk, sit or talk, but only at 6 feet apart. Work for a living if you’re deemed as essential, but small businesses? Well, now they’re a threat to our very last breath! Wear a mask & don’t ask of those numbers or stats, yet question the shield that protects us from harm & unrest. Don’t gather to praise in our houses of worship or historical churches, but protests & riots are allowed to destroy our own country’s cities & history. What has happened to the land of the free & home of the brave? Offensive, defensive, combative, destructive. This should not be! Who said we cannot, will not, have not or are not? We are able to be all that we want to be! Creative, inventive, ingenious, compassionate, hard working & courageous. This is who we are!! We each are uniquely made by a Creator who gave us this great big beautiful land we call home. No matter what, He’s still on the throne & forever He shall be… Game over!

“Lord, through all the generations you have been our home! Before the mountains were born, before you gave birth to the earth and the world, from beginning to end, you are God.” Psalm 90:1,2‭‭ “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4:16‬ ‭‬‬

https://antoinettesoutoftheashes.square.site/

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand

And a Heaven in a Wild Flower

Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand

And Eternity in an hour…”

William Blake wrote this in the 1800’s, Auguries of Innocence. It’s about imagination, vision, seeing the bigger picture from a smaller view. The grain of sand is tiny & the world is huge. The thought intwines with how vast that Heaven is as seen in a single flower, a mini reflection of a much greater beauty & wonder. Then we read…

“A dog starvd at his Masters Gate

Predicts the ruin of the State

A Horse misusd upon the Road

Calls to Heaven for Human blood”

The poem continues with descriptions of cruelties against innocent creatures and how they don’t “augur” well for human beings; whether it’s a good or bad sign of the future, depends on the perspective. I suppose that’s true of anything. We choose to see the good in others until we see the bad side of their choices. When the ugly seeks to kill, steal & destroy, it’s human nature to seek justice for such evil. We are taught to protect the innocent, respect human life & do good to others. When we see from heavens perspective that life is precious, beautiful, diverse & created by a God who loves ALL of us, we are empowered to share that love to others because HE first loved US! I want to see the greater good in everyone but reality is not always what we want, rather what it is. Just as I read this poem to try & understand its complexities, I continue to want to see a better world in a tiny grain of sand. I yearn to feel heavens gate as I hold that wildflower in the palm of my hand.

“Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end… “The last word, when all is heard: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this concerns all humankind; because God will bring to judgment every work, with all its hidden qualities, whether good or bad.”‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭3:11, 12:13-14‬

‭We always have a choice, God gives us the gift of free will. Even if we can’t see the outcome, we are still responsible for our own actions, conduct & behavior; the good, bad or the ugly. I choose good.

https://antoinettesoutoftheashes.square.site/

I’d often wondered about these mysterious creatures of the night, until this happened…

After the Saddle Fire had destroyed our property & home, we began the tedious work of clearing some of the burnt & mangled trees & brush. We had finally rebuilt our house & begun to dig into some serious landscape work. Little did we know that we had awakened an underground village of voracious voles! They feasted & dined on our lush green plants & began to freely live off of our beautiful budding bouquets & sweet flowering succulents. The damage & destruction these small, seemingly innocent rodents, can wreak havoc to a green thumb gardeners delight. I’d seen their handiwork after they’d toppled a blooming 9 foot Yucca overnight! Never had I witnessed so many vicious varmints. I could not stand idly by & let them take over at the expense of all our hard work. This was a battle I had to win! I trapped, captured & released the enemy at large. Yet little did I know, I was being watched by a furry grey tailed ally, who had been snatching my prisoners of war…the Lil’ Foxes of the Night. These stealthy hunters of the dark gathered their easy picking prey at the hands of this determined warrior. It was the Circle of Life. The back-breaking task of repairing the land that had been ravaged by two compelling fires, was almost ripped out again by these plant sucking critters. Our efforts were victorious as we’d joined forces with these inquisitive little Foxes. Together we fought the “Battle of the Voles”!I was amazed when I realized the beauty of what a wonderful lesson God had given me. How quickly life can change when we least expect it. We decide what we’ll do in that moment, when we have to choose what must be done. The battles are real & never easy, but we like vigilant warriors are tenacious, creative & inventive. At times we are called to fervently fight & other times we must let go. Yet… God is always in control. We may not know or see the plan, but we can stand strong when we trust that we are never alone in any of life’s battles. And sometimes, God brings us a little help from our friends…. or maybe He’ll send…. the lil’ foxes of the night”.

“For I hold you by your right hand— I, the Lord your God. And I say to you, ‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.”‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭41:13‬

‭https://antoinettesoutoftheashes.square.site/

Here’s where we quietly put our unspoken fears & wounded tears. We fill each mini compartment with the great unknown, brief assumptions & preconceived ideas. Perhaps we leave a token of the least expected, most unexplained or series of unfortunate events. It’s a shut down, closed door, mistaken choice, or a loss with serious consequences. Easier to leave it & never return, than to open that Pandora’s box! Yet to visit that dark lonely place can bring healing & peace, as we evaluate the effect it has made in our life. I can’t be brave if I never attempt to overcome my trepidation & dismay. I have to find the missing pieces of this puzzle I so desperately need to complete. With this shield of faith I must stand my ground to protect myself against the fiery darts from the enemy. My heart wants to run & never take a glance at the moments held deep in those secret hidden spaces. I’m scared & alone, anxiously nervous, angry & stressed. To look at the inside of that closed hollow box, takes honest reflection at such a great cost! If I seek I shall find, if I knock it will open, if I ask, I know I shall receive… closure to this unopened box. These are unsettling times of unanswered questions to those daunting fears & doubts. Where do we go when we can’t face the day or clearly see what lies ahead? How do we open the door that imparts the key to unlock our broken hearts? Christ pleads with us, “Come to Me, all who are weary & heavy-burdened & I will give you rest”. Perhaps now is the time to take a good look at ourselves & remember; how we were made strong when we had been weak. It’s a mystery, our faith that overcomes the battle of fear through the sword of the Spirit. The box is just a temporary place that holds those unfinished duels to capture the victim; but when it is finished, it releases a survivor. We are victors to the death of despair, as we trust in the One who will make us “more than a conqueror” … a Warrior of the heart!

“Through God we will do valiantly, For it is He who shall tread down our enemies.”‭‭Psalms‬ ‭108:13‬

Out of the Ashes online book order: https://antoinettesoutoftheashes.square.site/