Category: POSTS

Out of the unexpected comes something amazing! Isn’t that how things often happen? We may never know the outcome of how our life will be… until the unexplained, unbelievable is right before our eyes! Who can beautifully create or mysteriously perform, such wondrous feats of amazement…. all  for us to see? Just gaze upon the painted rainbow across the cloudy sky, after listening to the cracklings of a lightning thunderstorm. I’ve seen that kind of beauty, arise above the dark, as I’ve walked across the rocky path & held on by a thread. Our world, our lives are always changing. Yet it’s easy not to recognize or appreciate the simple blessings. Until one day, it happens. Finally, I see it. Something quite unusual… tiny tadpoles, watermelons & one bright yellow sunflower. They all appeared somehow, underneath my garden thumb, without me ever tending or planting any one! Overnight without a clue, I barely saw them move & then I had a tadpole farm, until they slowly grew. Another day I noticed, a wild looking weed. It blossomed from a stray seed & gave me watermelons! Then I saw that lonesome sunflower. So majestic was it’s bloom, as it briefly stood its ground. It kissed my world & greeted me, before the sun dried up it’s leaves. I’d watered, watched & waited, while all three began to grow, amazed at how this blessing, taught me more than I could know. Those black-eyed seeds from my flower of faith, gave me precious newfound hope. Replant, restore what had been lost in the time before the storm. That fruitful melon brought a sweetness, to tenderly remind me. He can heal the brokenness of the hard & bitter past. How fast life changes, as I’d watched my tadpoles, yet they barely seemed to grow. Those slinky legs & arms, replaced their floppy tails & one by one they quickly bailed the pail! Now I see how life reshapes me, as I try to become, the best at what I’ll be. These simplest things I’ve learned from the humor of this story; tadpoles, watermelons…. & one beautiful sunflower.

“Unfailing love and truth have met together. Righteousness and peace have kissed! Truth springs up from the earth, and righteousness smiles down from heaven. Yes, the Lord pours down his blessings.”

Psalms 85:10-12 NLT

Remembering the past, those quaint precious moments…

Alone with my sweetheart on a short summer drive, singing to the radio, we felt so alive! Riding down the streets in that ole’ classic car, while the wind in my hair filled the crisp night air. Sipping a glass of cool lemonade, we sat in the shade of our tall Oak trees. It was fresh, so inviting & excitingly new, as we danced through the times & the days of our lives. Strutting a step like we knew what to do, but our heart was just beating to the sound of a tune! It was our love-song, bedside story & night serenades. But little did we know, we were creating something special, we were making our home. I can’t forget or casually erase, a whole lifetime of memories, moments & events. Though this struggle to remember when the losses are much, the times that we shared & the things that we’d lost. Can’t drive down that road like before or escape from the heat, beneath our leafy green trees. It won’t be the same for everything has changed. Our homes & town have been shattered & torn. Our hearts & lives have been broken & worn. I want to be stronger & braver, as we move into the next chapter of a different new role. I’m taking a breath & turning the page, trusting God to rewrite this journey’s next stage. One word, one line, one step at a time, today is the first day of the rest of our lives. Now, we begin again… this is our story.

“Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.”

Psalms 27:14 NLT

One day, one step, one moment at a time. This is our life. Trying to see what’s ahead instead of behind, is a constant challenge. There are no strategic plans or written directions to make our unspoken dreams become a new reality. Yet we cannot see, if we don’t believe. Our faith is the substance that sustains & helps us to regain the courage to see the impossible. If we question our motives with scattered thoughts of fear & doubt, then we shall fail! Mistakes, I’ve made a few. Made the wrong decision, probably more often than I want to remember. But, we all have, we’re human! Yet the errors, bad judgement & crazy times we’ve had, can be used to our advantage if we learn from them. There are always tragic losses, difficult hardships & futile struggles. It’s how we grow stronger while we walk this weary road & imperfect path. I don’t understand it. I definitely don’t like this. But I do know, that is how we build character, strength & resilience. That’s how dreams are made; from the fruit of our life. What we choose to recreate & rebuild through the scars of the battlefields, will give us the ability to rekindle this hope & restore our dreams. At the end of the day, we know we will see, the setting sunset against the painted blue sky. Just as  sure as the day is done, the light of the moon shall rise & the dark of night will begin. It’s all so beautiful, the Creators hand, no mistakes, His perfect plan. We’re all a part of this wonderful life, created by His love; our Maker’s dream. I want to catch the vision & rise to the moment of becoming another…. Dream Catcher! 

“Do not rejoice over me [amid my tragedies], O my enemy! Though I fall, I will rise; Though I sit in the darkness [of distress], the LORD is a light for me.”

“For everything there is a season… a time to plant & a time to harvest.” Wise words to embrace as we continue to take great strides to move forward & rebuild our lives. We’ve often heard the saying, “grow where you’re planted”. Hard to do when we’ve been uprooted from our home sweet home. Yet I’ve often found comfort & healing in the green thumb gardening of sowing new seed. The replanting & repotting brings joy to my heart when I see the wonderful growth of those beautiful blooms. It’s so rewarding to see the work of our hands, after breaking up the hard ground & tilling the land. The fruit bearing trees & green leafed stalks, are a sight to behold for anyone’s home! Although this is often more joyous than tedious, there’re moments when the work is a difficult effort to endure. I’ve worked the soil with my weary hands, as I buried my sorrow & hoped for a better tomorrow. I’ve watered the new sprouts with my weeping tears & prayed for the strength to see the beauty through the ashes. There’s a reason for this season. It’s a time to diligently work to replant what’s been lost & restore what hasn’t been forgotten. As we continue to slowly heal, let’s plant that seed which gives birth to new hope. Let’s tenderly nourish & feed this, as we lovingly water & care for it. So  attentive we’ll be to protect it, as we watch it take root through the path of resistance. Then we’ll see that amazing growth that we’d never had known, if we’d never had sown, that precious seed. It’s such a splendid reflection of what we become! It’s when we finally let go & release our scattered dreams, broken hearts & deepest desires to the Lord. We place our seeds of sorrow, gifts & talents in the ground, laying it all down to the One who is faithful to gently heal, delicately mend & tenderly make us. “I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart…”  our precious seed. Ecc. 3:1,2,10

“For when I am weak, then I am strong.” The writer speaks with conviction, of knowing where his strength & endurance comes from. It’s not difficult to see this same tenacity in the hearts of our towns people, our youth & the elderly homesteaders who have strongly made their claim. I’m impressed with the comrade spirit that embraces this community. It’s like the protective bobcats that mark their territory & take their stand to defend their own. This beautiful & mystical animal has an intriguing & historic life on the Ridge. Their story is one that gives us a wonderful comparative illustration of the strength that comes through weakness. As through their desperate threats of extinction, the bobcat continued to prove that their livelihood was one of resilience; much like the steadfastness of our very own town. Consider the brave hunters they are, since the bobcat is much smaller in stature than most felines. Yet they are able to take down much larger prey during the leanest times of scarcity & starvation. It’s no wonder that the perfect mascot for our High School has been the mighty Bobcat. It represents our undefeated team spirit! This same oneness, determined motivation & warrior attitude, can be seen through the gallant efforts of so many. We are only a few, but we’re courageous & brave. Our adversities are great, but we’re vigilant & unafraid. Alone we may be, but together we’re one. Although we’re weak, we can become strong! The writer’s words speak bold & true; “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing, or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength”. Philippians 4:11-13. Through these difficult times, we’ve shared our hearts, homes & our lives with each other, as the caring community we are. We’ve learned to find the strength when we had nothing left to give. As the trail leads the Bobcat to return to its habitat, so the strength of Paradise shall continue to live!

How do you mend a broken heart? The songwriter sings, the poet writes & the orator asks. Our losses are many, for some few, maybe extensive or only minor. From our homes to our hearts, with our friends to our loved ones. We all know how little or huge, is the cross that we bear. No matter how hard we try, our hearts cannot heal our open wounds, those deep battle scars or the emotional heartaches. I’ve tried & failed, time & time again. I can’t change myself, I’m unable to fix others or stop the ones that I love from hurting themselves. Where do I go to lighten this grip that tightens & weighs on my soul? Here I sit, unable to move through the weight of ache & tears of sorrow. Self pity, maybe. Heavy load, yes. Deep thoughts, of course. Reflection, intervention, perception, destruction. All intertwine in my head, bouncing around & confusing my mind. I’m thinking, maybe dreaming or feeling too much. Yet I cannot let go though I know that I must! Close my eyes, say a prayer, quiet the noise of my thoughts. Finally I feel the soft gentle touch of His loving hand. This is more than just something of calming myself or trying to settle my tense edgy nerves. There’s a peaceful rest, a silent comfort & a sweet tender moment, as I realize this truth. It’s not up to me. Only this choice to give in is on me, not to give up but to sincerely choose Him. From the words of the Psalmist, my questions are answered. My doubt in myself although honestly real, is replaced & restored with a trust & belief in the Lord. Through this hope, I’m renewed, I’m fallen for His love. Now He is able to heal & to mend, my brokenness, my heart & my weary soul. “Unless the Lord had helped me, I would soon have settled in the silence of the grave. I cried out, “I am slipping!” but Your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, Your comfort gave me renewed hope & cheer” Psalm 94:17-19

This walk is hard, the journey long. It feels like I am dragging my tired feet through the muddy trenches. It’s as if I’m carrying a heavy load wherever I go, however I run, or whatever I do. Yet I cannot escape what I must go through. For though this rugged road is hard, I must press on & battle through what has begun. So many have traveled to distant places, with new horizons & different faces. It’s still a tremendous hardship, to grieve this terrible loss. Whether near or far, we all are affected by this conflicting lot. Sometimes the weight of our small little world can feel like an anchor, or a chain to our past. We barely can gather a quiet composure, or find some peaceful solace, in this confusing maze & foggy haze of stress filled days. The unending questions that bounce in our heads, have no easy answers or simple suggestions. The multiple choices that add to our list, are too many decisions to make or to fix. Want to scream but no time, need to cry but no tears, have to work but can’t move, just don’t know what to do! Gotta stop, take a breath, let it go, calm the soul. Say a prayer & believe, we will overcome this, as God brings us through it. What we have endured on this long-broken road, hasn’t been easy or light. When it didn’t break us, it carefully made us much stronger than we were before. On this stride we have wandered, roamed & trekked, as our faith has been tested, tried & questioned. The times we feel weary & weak, we are held by the One who is near the broken hearted. A towering refuge in the storm, a light in the darkness & a shield to the helpless. Through this journey & path we may fear the unknown, but we’re never alone, as God walks beside us & renews & refines us. As we walk thru these ashes, let us trust in the Lord. Now we shall rise up with wings like an eagle & soar past the path, that brought beauty through these ashes!

I can only imagine what this will be like! In a quiet daydream state of mind, I try to focus on what Paradise could possibly be. As I catch myself from spinning around in an endless circle of meaningless thoughts, I try to envision a better outcome through these many losses. It’s hard to see the distant future when we are staring at a torn down town. Paradise. It’s challenging at best, for it to be all it’s name implies. Our sweet memories are remembered like the light of day. Yet, our bitter losses can capture our thoughts & weaken our weary souls. As I walk on this imperfect path, I’m often faced with looking back in time to face my fears. I must conquer the enemy of defeat, from robbing my joy & stealing the peace, that keeps my feet from slipping again. I remember how the rage of the fire took all we had. Our memorable souvenirs of yesterday’s years gone by, like echoes in our minds. We watched the flames take our home, all our hard earned work, creative projects & a lifetime burned to the ground. The wounds of the battle left scars that grew deep & slowly stole pieces of our hearts, one by one. It was only by careful reflection & prayerful searching, that I was able to find healing, to mend & repair the damage of this heated past. Now I can only imagine what life was like before my own little world crumbled into a pile of metal & ash. But when you really think about it, we always have losses in one form or another. This is how we use loss to make us stronger, build us better & create in us something more beautiful than before. We are over-comers, who rise to the occasion of becoming all that we are created to be! We may be pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed! We may be perplexed, but we will not be driven to despair! We may get knocked down, but we will not be destroyed! Though the enemy like a lion seeks to devour us, we are NEVER abandoned by God! When I see the countless possibilities, I can envision something better than before. We may seem to be at a disadvantage, even severely disabled, but through these losses we are neither. We are just differently abled! It starts with the face in the mirror. We choose a life that rises above the ashes & believing that with God’s help, we can make something impossible become possible again! May we again, find Paradise to be all it’s name implies!

Oh, what a beautiful mess! I cannot possibly fill this blank & empty page with enough heartfelt gratitude. I give praise & thanksgiving to God, for all that He has done! What reckless doubt & unspoken thoughts I had, when all was so quickly gone. Though untouched by the fire that surrounded us, we felt so deeply torn. We stared at what it left of our home, not only a terrible mess, but also a scar on our hearts. Like a wandering sojourner, I was looking for a meaningful purpose to this chaos. A reasonable way to find peace & rest. I battled the heat of the loss & the flames that consumed my thoughts. Yet, I found refuge in the old rugged cross! My heart was complete, though broken & shattered, my mind was renewed, though thoughtlessly scattered. My soul was reborn when I felt helpless & useless, as I depended on Him, He held me together. This was my beautiful mess! A delicate balance to the steps of a dance, through the summer seasons & winter songs. I was captured by the One who held the whole world, my little world, in the palm of His hands. I’m no longer alone in the shadow of darkness, walking through the ashes of grief. He tenderly carried me through it, like the footprints in the sand. I am free from harm, safe in His loving arms. Now I’m walking onward, like a conqueror on a quest to make peace with my past. I move forward, one day, one step at a time. We’ve seen what seemed like an impossible dream, become something much more beautiful than before! All in His perfect time. He takes the mess that we are & He uses it, to make something more beautiful in us. Now we are the ones who are blessed, all from this beautiful mess! Oh, what a Savior we have! He gives Beauty for Ashes again & again… my beautiful mess I am!

Painting by: Jim G Peppler “Rolling Sun”

Coming down the long narrow road, I gaze up at the barren hillside to catch a glimpse of the lost battlefield. It was not that long ago that I had seen the daring young lions, Nala & Simba, heirs from the king of the mountain, gallantly roaming their lush marked territory. I’d often thought how their eerie presence was one I cautiously respected & admired, but only from a distance. Now my wandering eyes seek to find a similar scene, a familiar memory of warm sunny days, catching Brer Rabbit hopping into his safe bunny hole. Alas, I spot his pounding paws over spiny weeds & burnt mistletoe, as he gathers berries for his midnight dreams. The dried out burned up trees & scorched scarred ground, cries out in vain. I stare at what little remains of once green rolling hills, with plentiful rows of daffodils, lilies, dandelions & fern. This mountain has sadly suffered. It’s deeply scarred with the remnants of what so little is left, after so much had been taken in a matter of only a few hours. I feel it’s pain, I know it’s ache. I share its battle scars from riding the tails of the roar of the beast, that stole the land of the free & the homes of the brave. But as I look upon this harsh terrain, I am moved to the core as I begin to see more of the fresh beginnings of healing. New growth in the grazing land, tiny colorful buds arising from the depth of the charred earth. I confidently smile as I realize that promise I held onto, when I walked through the valley of darkness & came out of the ashes of despair. “He gives us beauty for ashes, joy for mourning & the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness”. I can see His beauty in this handiwork of new life returning through the ashes. The native wildlife & families of flying creatures are slowly returning & giving birth to their innocent offspring young. Healing has begun on the scars of the mountain. We are connected as one, together in this journey, this pilgrimage. My spirit is renewed as the scars from my heart shed the tears of the wounded. Little by little, that underlying joy is released when I see these new beginnings painted across the mountain tops & valley floors. I can give praise for this newness & gift of bringing life to this still beautiful ridge. “Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest”. Psalm 126:5,6