Category: POSTS

Christmas time! Hard to believe a whole year has gone by. Remembering all the good memories of yesteryear seems better lately, than all the recent times of despair. So let’s stroll down memory lane, put on some Christmas cheer & take a look at some of those mistletoe moments. After all, home is where the heart is! Those special days when we stayed up late to wrap that last present, only to watch those little faces light up in the morning when they opened it up. Peeling those pink lady apples we bought from Noble Orchard to make that favorite French apple pie, yum! Oh and who could forget how we cherished the times we sat at the table, bowed our heads & gave thanks for the family & friends that we were blessed to have in our lives. It isn’t over yet! We still have memories to make, whether young or old, we are still on this journey called Life. Let’s make something new, bring something used & sing some old blues. We have much to be thankful for! Perhaps our meal is small, our tree even smaller but our hearts have grown larger as we have been touched by a moment in our lives that will forever bind us together. May your Christmas be blessed as you hold close to your heart all those favorite memories that you shared in your home. Nothing can take those from you cuz, home truly is where the heart is. Merry Christmas everyone & to all a good nite! 🎄

Hard to return to “normal” when nothing is normal at all. Kinda feels like trying to fit into last years jeans, the ones that are 2 sizes too small! Gets over the rear but ya just can’t zip it up… nothing fits! It all feels like everything is outta place. Keep doing the same thing over & over. That plant over there needs to go in the corner. No, maybe by the TV… oh wait… that’s right, I don’t have a TV! All those memories of what’s lost is magnified at the holidays. Maybe it’s because everything you want to buy for someone else doesn’t make sense when you need to buy it for yourself. Gotta put on a happy face, a smile so no one sees my pain. Can’t move, my mind’s racing a mile a minute, or not at all. If I pretend that everything’s alright then maybe, just maybe, I can feel something. Playing undercover cop in a made up world that doesn’t exist anymore. Like 21 Jump Street. An undercover cop going back to High School to play a student but, he’s really a cop playing the person that he never was in a class that he doesn’t belong in. It’s kinda like that… I think… I don’t know anymore! Maybe I’ll just put on my wonder woman mask & be somebody else today. Ah dang it, she doesn’t wear a mask!?!?🤦‍♀️

Photography by: Cindy Lee Hoover “Forest”

One by one the raindrops fell as we drove through town today. Tree after tree was burnt, blackened, fallen to the ground, cut & stacked. Our stops were few but memorable. My sons’ house had stucco laid flat to the ground, where ashes covered what was once his home. I could feel my sons’ sadness as he stared in disbelief that this was now his life. All he had left was what he’d left town with. Everything else was gone… all of it! We left with a heavy heart as he said his good byes to his home. Through the maze of workers, shadows of brick houses & black & gray covered streets, we stopped at our other sons’ place. We all were somber, staring at the remnants of what was left of a broken-down home. We walked around & recognized several pieces & things that once were whole. Out of the bottom of the ash covered floor, lay a face staring back at me. I lifted it up, brushed it off & recognized the statue of Saint Francis of Assisi. Out of the ashes comes Beauty! A memory for my son to remember that he is still alive! A memory for all of us, that though our sorrow is great, our prayers have been heard. 20 more tears from heaven rained down on me today, tears for sadness & tears of joy. Though my sons’ homes are gone, just like ours was, they too shall rise from the ashes. Be strong my sons, you are our legacy… a part of God’s history! 💔

Photography by: Cindy Lee Hoover “Falls”

Reality sets in awful fast after the smoke clears. All the many tasks at hand. The list gets bigger, grows longer everyday. I’m checking it twice, okay maybe more times than I know, that’s okay. Don’t want to do any of it. So many decisions to make & can’t think of even the simplest choices to make. What color underwear do I want? OMG what size do I wear?! Where’s the bathroom at this store cuz I think I gotta get outta here! All these people staring at me, don’t look up, don’t want them to see my grief. Oh wait a minute, I’m walking, I’m breathing, I’m stepping out & up to move forward. Gotta pinch myself cause this doesn’t feel real…but it is. This feels too much. I’m either shut down or shut in to my own little world. Gotta get out of myself & remember that I am not alone. The One who holds the world in is hand is holding me & my lil world too. That journal I keep closing is opening up again. It’s a new page today, a new chapter. My mind keeps singing to 19 bottles of rum, take one down pass it around 18 bottles of rum on the wall! Hmm, think I better think of a new song cuz that wall is now gone!

This is one of the most difficult & tedious tasks you will have! We dreaded every time we had to even think about it. But think about it & doing it you must! Although we hired a company to help us with our claim, we still had lots of homework & this was the 1st of many. If you have been putting this off, don’t! If you don’t have any guidelines to go by, ask your insurance for their inventory spreadsheets that they use. Usually an excel version so you can add to on line. Here are some helpful hints that worked for us:

1. Draw a diagram layout of your home. Just a simple one that makes sense to you. One page for each story.
2. Go thru each room, the easiest one 1st like the xtra bathroom. Kitchen & garage last, those are the hardest. As you finish a room, cross it out with a red pen. Don’t worry, if you forget you can add on to your spreadsheet.
3. Visualize. Close your eyes as you walk thru each room. You are going to do one wall at a time. What was on the wall, what furniture was at that wall & what was on or in that piece of furniture, cabinet, cupboard, shelf or drawers. You list each item that you remember was there.
   This is just the beginning of inventory. I know this hurts, it sucks, this was & is your life. Remembering everything you once had & now is gone. Wipe the tears, you’ll be okay. Keep those notepads & Kleenex with you at all times becuz you will forget & then remember something at the oddest times & places. This is inventory 18×18…

A picture says a thousand words. I’m digging through ashes & shattered glass of a broken-down home. Who would have thought that one could ever find anything worth saving? Just take a lil’ piece of my heart again & again & again. A treasure box of remnants & charred burnt jewelry. A rusted silver baby spoon, a handle less spatula & many broken ceramic pots. Handcrafted suns, moons, plus melted pots & pans. Oh my heart… deep down, my soul just ached, as I felt the sorrow drop me to my knees. My cheeks were covered with black soot, my clothes had the smell of smoke. I brushed the hair from my eyes with my glove covered hand and wiped the tears from my face. “Don’t stop” I said. “Keep digging!” Perhaps I’ll find something, anything that I could hold on to & say… this made it! And then I realized, all these broken pieces were broken treasures from my life that once was. I keep them as a reminder that though these things look worthless to many, they are priceless to me.They are my broken treasures from my broken life. They’re reminders of my life before. 17 treasures & more. 💔

Today has been a somber day. I watched the funeral service for our nations 41st President, George H.W. Bush. At the same time, I stood watching from our studio window, as many of you drove up Pentz road to see the remains of your homes. Two different processions, one same purpose. To put to rest a life. One for our nation & one for the homes of many of you. My heart goes out to each of you. Though this is most difficult, it is necessary that we have closure to our loss. It’s important to see the remains of your home. Take a breath. You’re not alone. As you take this drive to destination home, I stand with you as a nation, a town & one heart that mourns the loss of so many. Your homes & businesses are what built the foundation of Paradise. A solemn day, a mournful time for our town. Let us stand together as we take a knee, say a prayer & like the Phoenix, we shall rise again out of the ashes! 🦅

When the fire took our home, it changed our lives & things have never been the same. I had to accept that from the very beginning. The sooner I did, the sooner I could move on. This was not the end of my life, this was just another chapter in my journey. I had to turn the page. But, I will never forget that day. How can I? It was a hot & windy Labor Day. We were unwinding & relaxing after a long holiday weekend. Our home was cooled & the blinds were drawn shut, to keep out the blazing heat of the sun. We were completely unaware of the raging fire that was around us. Had our son Jimmy not come home to check on us, I would not be telling this part of the story. Even though the fire had breached our property, he continued down the long narrow road, keeping watch at the flames approaching our home. He quickly drove up to the house & frantically called for his Dad & I. When I looked up, I saw 2 pillars of flames rolling down the hillside. It was ripping & roaring like waves of flames, crashing & pounding on the hillside! The sight & sound was frightening & it was headed for our home. Little did I realize that the picture Jimmy painted for us the Christmas before, would be so prophetic & symbolic to our story. Like the Lord covering us under the shadow of His wings, parting the fire that approached us… we were safe. When Jimmy yelled downstairs… “Mom? There’s a fire!!!!”. It took me 15 steps to climb those stairs, to face the fire that would change my life forever! 🔥

So here’s a handful of cakes I had the privilege of decorating for our Paradise customers! Hope this brings ya as much a smile as it did to me. Remember those happy moments my friends! Hang on to the good memories & the many pictures in your heart that brought you joy! Much love & prayers to each one of you!!! 💔

A letter to my sons:
I know you’re heartbroken, devastated & dismayed right now. I feel your pain & know what you’re going through. I wish I could kiss it away & make it all better. That’s a mother’s love… to only want the best for her children. You don’t understand, you want to go back to how it was before, but you can’t. You keep asking, “why?”. You were starting a new life, settling in & enjoying where you were. I’ve been there. I know how you feel; I’ve felt this same way too. It was only just 2 years ago when we lost our home to a fire, but it feels like yesterday. All of you came to our side, held us up with your love & support after we lost everything. But now, those all familiar feelings have started all over again, but this time they are for you. I can tell you, it will not always be like this. This too shall pass, it will get better. Look at what you have come thru & where you are today. You have suffered a great loss, something so many are experiencing as well. You’re not alone! God carried us thru & I know He will carry you too. September 13th was the beginning of a new life for us; the day your Dad & I married. We raised you boys with a love & determination, so you could make the most of everything in life. You CAN do all things through Christ who gives you strength! So be strong my sons, YOU are our legacy, remember you are never alone! I love you more than you will ever know… Mom💔